The Necessity Of Invention

As far was we’re concerned, the story of Leonardo Da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man is yet another instance where modern day historians  have it all fowled up (pun intended).  Now for those of you unfamiliar with our website, rest assured that besides being a whiz with money and cooking, our Javabird is a duck of truly highfalutin (if not high-flying) ancestry.  We know this as a fact because ducks have a strong oral tradition of passing on their family histories, plus they quack up about it all the time.

Ducks are also easily ruffled over their heritage, especially when anyone gets it wrong, or when it comes to closely-related famous or infamous ancestors.  So it is with our Javabird, and that’s why we can state without the least thought to any forensic evidence of the contrary, that Da Vinci was nothing less than a cheap knock-off artist when it comes to his Vitruvian Man drawing.

Duckvinci’s Drawing

Leonard Duckvinci’s drawing (shown above) is a digitized reproduction of a hand written copy of a scrap of paper torn from a promotional pamphlet found in a dumpster behind Gutenburg’s print shop.   This carbon-undated and artistically-aged “bona fide original” was aptly named Vitruvian Duck.   According to our own irrefutable sources (you try arguing with a duck), it was drawn in the year 1477 A.D., thereby predating Da Vinci’s work a good ten years.  Now, if you still need further proof (and no doubt you do), one need only look a bit closer and ask two very telling questions:

Question #1:

Did men have hula hoops back in the 1400’s?  No, of course not, and yet Da Vinci’s work clearly depicts a man standing inside a hula hoop.  Need we bother to mention (a) such a person would have to be a “little person” since a full grown man wouldn’t fit as depicted inside your typical hula hoop, and (b) there’s no way Da Vinci special-ordered a big one!

Question #2:

Is some struggling man-artist (i.e. Da Vinci) going to pay full union scale for a nude, vertically-challenged male model to stand around twiddling his thumbs all day?  I think not!  Isn’t it far more reasonable that a duck-artist (i.e. Duckvinci) was granted a last request prior to being thrown into a boiling kettle of soup?  No doubt our poor Duckvinci was picturing himself from the glorious heaven’s above as he floated atop the simmering broth of his last resting (s)pot.  One can only make an educated guess, but isn’t it much more likely this work was a self-portrait—a cherished memory drawn up for the loved ones poor Duckvinci left behind?  Kind of makes me tear up as I think about it.

Credit Where Credit Is Due

This excerpt of long forgotten history goes to prove yet again that men often get far too much credit for being original.  Now, that’s one very sad duck tale if you stop to think about it.

Art by Shaun Novion
Interpretive History by Bob Anderson

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For even more startling duck history, visit our
Famous Ducks Of History page.

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